


Alone

by MrSpockify



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Death, Grief/Mourning, Hallucinations, Irondad, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-13 22:11:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16900764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrSpockify/pseuds/MrSpockify
Summary: Inspired by the Avengers: Endgame trailer.In his last moments, Tony hallucinates Peter. It's almost worse than being alone.





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Ha ha kill me now :)

_"It’s always you.”_

Tony flipped a switch on his damaged Iron Man helmet to stop his recording and sat back against a cold metal wall. One more day. 16 hours and 23 minutes, to be exact, but by that time the oxygen will have depleted enough for him to pass out. He’d be unconscious as he died. It would be painless.

“Miss Potts will appreciate your message, Mr. Stark.”

Tony closed his eyes tightly, willing the voice to go away. It was so much worse like this. He was already dying; why did this have to happen, too?

“Is everything okay, Mr. Stark?”

“No, kid,” he muttered, his voice catching. “Nothing is okay.” He looked up, beyond the helmet. Sitting in the small cabin across from him, knees pulled up to his chest and looking smaller than Tony remembered him being, was Peter Parker. He was staring at Tony with big, innocent eyes.

“I’m sorry, sir.” Tony buried his face in his hands and desperately held back his tears. He didn’t want to spend his last hours crying. He didn’t want to spend his last day alive feeling like this.

“Don’t apologize, kid. Please,” he whispered through his fingers. Peter shouldn’t feel guilty, but Tony knew that the kid spent his last few seconds guilt-ridden about… God, he didn’t even know what it was about. Probably the fact that he hadn’t taken down Thanos. That he hadn’t been strong enough. That he had let Tony down.

But he didn’t. That kid could _never_ let him down, no matter what. He just wished he could have made Peter understand that before he… Before he was gone.

After a few minutes of silence, Tony lifted his head and slowly opened his eyes, hoping it would be over. He was never that fortunate, though. Still sitting across from him, Peter blinked once and gave a small smile. Something inside Tony broke, but he managed to muster the most pitiful smile in return.

“Do you think everyone’s okay back home?” Tony’s sad smile faltered. Of course Peter would always consider the safety of others, even in death.

Well, not exactly in death, Tony thought. This is _your_ hallucination of him. It was still pretty accurate, though.

“I don’t know,” Tony answered. Honestly, he was trying hard not to think about it. He left Pepper a message, and he hoped she would get it, but that was assuming she was okay. He wanted—no, _had_ —to assume she was okay. The snap couldn’t have taken her, too, after already taking everything else. Every _one_ else.

Peter picked absently at a loose screw near his foot. He looked so young. He was too young. “I hope May isn’t too upset,” he added. Tony knew she would be. She’d be furious at him, and for good reason. He stole her baby and brought him into a fight they had no chance of winning. Hell, he signed Peter’s death certificate the day he recruited him. She had every right to be upset. Maybe she could at least get some peace from the fact that he’d die drifting alone in space.

“That won’t make her happy,” Peter said, as if reading his thoughts. Of course he read your thoughts, Tony reminded himself, rolling his eyes. He _is_ your thoughts. “Besides,” Peter added, smiling again, “you’re not alone.”

This was so much worse than being alone. Tony closed his eyes, but he could still sense that Peter was there. He was always there. He was the giant hole in his chest that ached every single second of every single day. He was the reason he woke up screaming every night, clutching for someone who wasn’t there anymore. He was the reason Tony was relieved he only had a few hours left.

“I don’t want you to die, Mr. Stark.” Tony looked up, but wished he hadn’t. Peter was looking at him with more grief than he deserved. Tears were starting to well in those big, brown eyes, and Peter’s hands were holding his legs tightly to his chest. He looked like he might collapse into himself and disappear.

“It’ll be okay, kid,” he said, his voice hoarse as he held back his own tears. Peter started to cry, his whole body shaking with every sob. He was just a child. A sad, frightened child. Tony wanted to wrap his arms around the small frame and hug him close to his chest. He wanted to make the tears go away, along with the fear. He didn’t want anyone to worry about him anymore. “I won’t feel a thing, I promise.” He was reminding himself just as much as he was reminding Peter. Tony was starting to feel a building sense of dread in his stomach. This was really it. He was actually going to die.

“Mr. Stark,” Peter said quietly. Tony looked up at him, his heart breaking as he watched the kid gain his composure and put on a brave face. Peter sniffed, turning his red-rimmed eyes to his mentor. “I miss you,” he said, his voice cracking.

“Oh, Peter…” Tony pushed himself forward, crawling on sore knees over his helmet. He reached one hand out to place it on the kid’s where it rested. His hand never found anything solid to land on. It went right through Peter’s own hand and through the leg it rested on. His fingers sent ash fluttering into the air. “No, please,” Tony whispered, but it was too late. The rest of Peter’s body began to disintegrate before him, caving in and disappearing in a silent flurry of dust. The last thing to go was Peter’s face, staring at him with warm, trusting eyes.

Tony felt like he couldn’t breathe, and he wondered briefly if he had gotten the math wrong. Perhaps the oxygen was already gone. He fell back onto the ground, gasping for air in-between sobs and clutching at his chest.

He was alone. Actually, truly alone. The universe had taken everything from him. His whole life felt like a cruel joke leading up to this moment, a painful, horrible punch line. It tore at his chest relentlessly like a wild animal. He wished the universe would show a shred of mercy and just let him die already.

Tony curled onto his side, pulling himself into a tight ball. He let himself cry until his throat was raw and he had nothing left inside of him. He had nothing left at all. No one to hold him in his last seconds. No one to say goodbye to. No one.

He felt numb as the hours ticked by, the silence engulfing him like a hollow embrace. As his body calmed down and he finally felt exhaustion pulling him into sleep, Tony thought about everyone he used to have. The memories were painful, but the familiarity was a comfort. While his mind faded, Tony swore he felt a soft hand rest on his face, a comforting touch that warmed his whole being before he slipped away.

Maybe he wasn’t entirely alone after all.


End file.
